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Writer's pictureMelanie Gareau

The Comparison Trap: How It Affects Your Self-Esteem

Have you ever caught yourself scrolling through social media and thinking, "Why can’t I look

like that?"; or "Why is their life so perfect, and mine isn’t?"; You’re not alone. It’s so easy to fall

into the comparison trap, especially in today’s world, where we’re constantly surrounded by

images and stories of what seems to be “perfect” lives.

But here’s the thing: comparison is a sneaky thief. It creeps in, whispers lies about how you’re

not enough, and quietly erodes your self-esteem.


Teen looking into mirror sceptically.
Comparing yourself to others is natural but can be harmful

Why Comparison Hurts

When we compare ourselves to others, especially on social media, we’re often comparing our

behind-the-scenes to someone else’s highlight reel. People tend to share the best moments of

their lives—the perfect selfie, the exciting vacation, the award they won—but rarely the

struggles, insecurities, or bad days.


What we don’t realize is that these curated glimpses into other people’s lives can distort our

perception of what’s real and what’s attainable. Over time, these constant comparisons can:

  • Make you doubt your own abilities and worth.

  • Lead to feelings of jealousy or resentment.

  • Create unrealistic expectations for yourself.


The Social Media Effect

Social media can amplify the comparison trap like nothing else. Every time you scroll, it’s like

flipping through a magazine of “perfect” people. But remember, most of what you see is filtered,

edited, or carefully chosen to appear flawless.


Think about this: Would you compare your messy room to someone’s beautifully decorated

house from a magazine? Of course not. Yet, we do this with our lives every day when we

compare ourselves to what we see online.


How to Break Free from the Trap

Here’s a truth bomb: not every thought that pops into your head is true. Your brain can be

influenced by emotions, insecurities, and even what you’ve been taught or heard from others.

The good news is that you have the power to challenge your thoughts. Here’s how:

  1. Shift Your Perspective

    • Remind yourself that everyone has struggles, even if they’re not showing them.

    • Celebrate your uniqueness—no one else in the world is quite like you, and that’s

      your superpower.

  2. Be Mindful of Your Triggers

    • Notice when and why you’re comparing yourself to others.

    • If certain accounts or platforms make you feel bad about yourself, consider taking

      a break or unfollowing.

  3. Practice Gratitude

    • Focus on what’s good in your life. Write down three things you’re grateful for

      every day.

    • Gratitude helps shift your focus from what you don’t have to what you do.

  4. Set Realistic Goals

    • Instead of wishing for what someone else has, think about what you truly want for

      yourself.

    • Break it down into small, actionable steps that feel good to you.

  5. Talk It Out

    • If you’re struggling with comparison, share your feelings with someone you

      trust—a friend, parent, teacher, or coach.

    • Sometimes, just saying it out loud helps take away its power.


Building Your Self-Esteem

Your self-esteem is like a muscle. The more you nurture and care for it, the stronger it becomes.

It starts with being kind to yourself and realizing that you are worthy and enough, just as you are.

The next time you catch yourself comparing, pause and ask:

  • Is this comparison helping or hurting me?

  • What can I do right now to feel good about myself instead?

You don’t have to have it all figured out. None of us do. But every step you take toward focusing

on your own journey instead of someone else’s is a step toward a healthier, happier you.



 

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